I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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