Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
