these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
