Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
