So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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