I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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