well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
