Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
