Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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