He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
COCAINE IS GR8
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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