people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
