I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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