I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
