Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
