I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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