Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize