You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
