I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
