Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
