Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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