He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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