I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
