She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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