awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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