He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
