i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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