this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
