he wants to bone in the snuggie
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
