I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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