You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
