Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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