wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
