They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
