the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
