he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
