I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
