she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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