Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm both gender and math confused
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