Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
