he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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