im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
