so that wasnt chicken after all
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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