my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize