he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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