Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
