Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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