You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
