Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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