just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
