That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
