Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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