cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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