So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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