R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
