do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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