He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
These tits shall not be calmed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
