Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
