I wanna passion pit in your ass
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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