wake up i wanna do it froggy style
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
