Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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