I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize