haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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