I'm going to jail i love you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
