If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
