i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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