we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize