How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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