either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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