I'm lost and stupid without you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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