just come out here and I will go home with you...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
