I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
