I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He felt like a one man threesome
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
