He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
