So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
